My name is Steve Collins and I’m funny. Depending on your sense of humor. I’m just a regular guy; no different than you. I’ve always been the funniest guy in the office. People have told me that I need to be a stand-up comic. The problem with that is I can be comfortable being funny in the office or at a party, but I’d be the skinniest guy on the comedy circuit. Not quite that funny. Some have suggested I write a book or a blog. This is my blog.
I grew up in a Navy household, so we moved quite a bit when I was young. When people think of the Navy they think I’ve lived in Hawaii, or maybe Japan or Germany. Maybe Pensacola, FL. Not me. I’ve never lived outside the central time zone. We’ve been stationed in such exotic ports of call as Lubbock, TX, and Omaha, NE. Yep. Lots of battleships going in and out of Lubbock, TX and Omaha, NE.
I found my funny in high school. We moved to Slidell, LA just before my junior year. That’s a horrible time for a kid to have to move. For one whole year I sulked and pouted about how bad my life was. It took me that long to realize that I was only hurting myself. One day I just decided to turn my life around. It worked. My senior year in high school was the best year of my life.
I graduated and enrolled in college at Louisiana State University in Baton Rouge, LA. Four years later I was fortunate enough to get a degree in journalism. Yes I graduated from LSU; so I don’t have a formal education.
The jobs in advertising in 1979 were in Houston, so my wife and I moved there for 6 years. Two jobs and two kids later, we packed up and moved to Memphis to get the grandkids and the grandparents together. I’ve since gotten a divorce, re-married, and have grandkids of my own. I retired from the advertising business and started up a sharpening business called One Sharp Dude.
Congestive heart failure plagued me for 10 years until I had to have a heart transplant in November of 2011. During the surgery I suffered a spinal cord injury. T9-T12 – incomplete for those of you keeping score. My heart is working fine but I’ve lost the use of my legs. The bad news is that I had a heart transplant and am now confined to a wheel chair. The good news is that I had a heart transplant and am now confined to a wheel chair.
I was able to get another degree (film) at the University of Memphis on the student disability ticket. Now, I blog. I’m also a screenwriter. I’m a songwriter and one of those annoying movie quoters. My wife Vicki and I live with our dog, Doodle, near Poplar and Highland.
So laugh at my blog if you will. If you do, then I’m doing my job.