Quotes

Comcast

“That ironic moment when you realize that the Xfinity commercial is being pixelized on your Comcast signal.” Steve Collins, 2014

Big-Ass Woman

“If I were a woman, I’d be a big-ass woman.” Steve Collins, 2013

Butt Warmers

“I like the butt warmers on our car, and, on longer trips, roasted nuts.” Steve Collins, 2013

I’m a Songwriter

“I’m an excellent songwriter; an adequate guitarist, and a below-average vocalist.” Steve Collins, 2013

Monkeys

“As I’ve told my kids on many occasions, monkeys don’t grow on trees.” Steve Collins, 2012

To-Do Lists

“I’m an excellent list maker. I’m just a horrible list crosser-off-erer.” Kimberly Collins Wharton, 2012

Hockey 5-hole

“My ability to block the #5 hole is both amazing and painful.” Steve Collins, 2012