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How to Keep Avocados from turning Brown When I was a little boy in the Philippines, my day used to say, “Boy, you never…

Phil the Umpire

This society didn’t just go from landlines to cell phones. No. We went to answering machines, then voice mail, big bag phones, smaller brick…

Hockey Skillz

“My ability to block the #5 hole is both amazing and painful.” – Steve Collins, 2012

Rosetta Stone

“I ran into Rosetta Stone at the airport yesterday. Wanted to say hello, but didn’t know how to speak to her.” Steve Collins, 2014

My Life

“85% of my life is fiction.” Steve Collins, 2014

Zero Tolerance

“I have a zero tolerance policy on people who don’t tolerate anything.” Steve Collins, 2014

Those are the Rules

“Just because those are the rules, doesn’t necessarily make them the rules.” Steve Collins, 2014

Oldest Munchkin

Conversation today between me and Vicki Hurley Collins – Me: The oldest female Munchkin died. She was 95. VHC: That’s amazing. Me: What? VHC:…

God Gave Us

“God gave us 2 ears and 1 mouth so that we don’t look stupid, having 2 mouths and 1 ear and all.” Steve Collins,…


“I was arrested this evening for solicitation. SOLICITATION. take THAT all you former sales managers.” Steve Collins, 2014

Healthy for Sex

Conversation with my cardiologist upon my discharge after my heart transplant – Me: Is my heart healthy enough to have sex again? Dr. E:…

What is a Blog Muffin?

A blog muffin? Well, it’s kinda like a blog roll, only tastier. The following are the blogs I roll with: Connie McLeod and Her…


“That ironic moment when you realize that the Xfinity commercial is being pixelized on your Comcast signal.” Steve Collins, 2014