I’m a Songwriter
“I’m an excellent songwriter; an adequate guitarist, and a below-average vocalist.” Steve Collins, 2013
Latest Articles
Ménage à trois
“My wife said she’d entertain the idea of a 3-way, but only if I could get Angie Harmon. I have a call in.” Steve…
Monkeys
“As I’ve told my kids on many occasions, monkeys don’t grow on trees.” Steve Collins, 2012
Memphis heart transplant patient shares experience through social media
How can I help?
DONATE TO THE NATIONAL FOUNDATION OF TRANSPLANTS About 10 years ago, Steve began battling what he thought was simply a cold and congestion. After…
Request the song you want, people!
Blue Moon and Blue Moon of Kentucky – 2 ENTIRELY different songs.
National Geographic
Percentage-wise, the National Geographic channel has not enlightened me NEAR as much as did the National Geographic magazine back when I was 11.
To-Do Lists
“I’m an excellent list maker. I’m just a horrible list crosser-off-erer.” Kimberly Collins Wharton, 2012
Safe Sex?
Conversation with my cardiologist upon discharge after my heart transplant – Me: Is my heart safe enough to have sex again? Dr. E: Yes,…
Hockey 5-hole
“My ability to block the #5 hole is both amazing and painful.” Steve Collins, 2012
I’m Ugly
“I’m just as ugly as the rest of you guys. I’m just more comfortable in my ugliness.” Steve Collins, 2011
Heart Transplant
“There’s nothing wrong with me that a heart transplant can’t cure.” Steve Collins, 2011, before his heart transplant
What I Look for in a Woman
“What do I look for in a woman? A vagina, mostly.” Steve Collins, 2011
Gang Member
Does anyone know the date of Gang rush? I’m looking to join a gang, you know, for networking opportunities and social activities.
Bigger Than Life
“I’m not bigger than life. I’m roughly the same size.” Steve Collins, 2010
Deviated Septum
“My heart’s in the right place, but I do have a deviated septum.” Steve Collins, 2010
Bring to the Table?
“What do I bring to the table? A knife. And a fork. Yeah, a knife and a fork.” Steve Collins, 2010
A dull knife is a doorstop.
If your knife isn’t sharp, you’re doing most of the work.
Heterphobe
“I am a heterophobe.” Steve Collins, 2010
Definitely, Probably
“We should definitely probably do that.” Vicki Hurley Collins, 2009