quotes

Comcast

“That ironic moment when you realize that the Xfinity commercial is being pixelized on your Comcast signal.” Steve Collins, 2014

Big-Ass Woman

“If I were a woman, I’d be a big-ass woman.” Steve Collins, 2013

Butt Warmers

“I like the butt warmers on our car, and, on longer trips, roasted nuts.” Steve Collins, 2013

I’m a Songwriter

“I’m an excellent songwriter; an adequate guitarist, and a below-average vocalist.” Steve Collins, 2013

Monkeys

“As I’ve told my kids on many occasions, monkeys don’t grow on trees.” Steve Collins, 2012

To-Do Lists

“I’m an excellent list maker. I’m just a horrible list crosser-off-erer.” Kimberly Collins Wharton, 2012

Hockey 5-hole

“My ability to block the #5 hole is both amazing and painful.” Steve Collins, 2012

I’m Ugly

“I’m just as ugly as the rest of you guys. I’m just more comfortable in my ugliness.” Steve Collins, 2011